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Sometimes, Jay Spring believes he is “the greatest person on planet Earth”. Having received an NPD diagnosis, his grandiose moments can become “really delusional”, he admits. “You are on cloud nine and you think, ‘The world will recognize that I stand above others … I’m destined for greatness for the world’.”

Regarding his experience, these episodes of self-aggrandisement are typically coming after a “crash”, where he feels overwhelmed and self-conscious about his behavior, making him highly sensitive to negative feedback from those around him. He came to wonder he might have this personality condition after researching his symptoms online – and was later evaluated by a clinician. Yet, he doubts he would have accepted the diagnosis if he hadn’t previously arrived at that realization on his own. When someone suggests to somebody that they have the condition, {they’ll probably deny it|denial is a common response|they’re likely to reject it,” he notes – most notably if they feel feelings of superiority. “They’re in a delusional world that they’ve built up. And within that framework, I’m the greatest and {nobody can question me|no one should doubt me|my authority is absolute.”

Clarifying Narcissistic Personality Disorder

While people have been called narcissists for over 100 years, the meaning can be ambiguous what people refer to as the term. It’s common to label everybody a narcissist,” says an expert in narcissism, who believes the word is “overused” – but when it comes to a formal diagnosis, he suggests many people conceal it, because of widespread prejudice linked to the condition. An individual diagnosed will tend to have “an exaggerated self-image”, “impaired compassion”, and “a tendency to exploit relationships to enhance their social status through things like displaying material goods,” the specialist clarifies. Those with NPD may be “deeply egotistical”, to the point that {“they’re not able to hold down stable relationships|“their jobs are damaged|“they have a distorted view of reality,” he states.

I never truly valued about anyone really, so I’ve never taken relationships seriously

Variations by Gender in The Disorder

While three-quarters of people identified as having NPD are males, studies indicates this figure does not mean there are less female narcissism, but that female narcissism is more often presented in the vulnerable narcissism type, which is under-identified. Narcissistic traits in men tends to be a bit more accepted, similar to everything in society,” notes an individual who discusses her NPD and borderline personality disorder (BPD) on social media. It is not uncommon, the two disorders appear together.

Personal Struggles

It’s hard for me with dealing with feedback and not being accepted,” she says, since when I’m told that the problem is me, I tend to switch to a defensive state or I become unresponsive.” Although experiencing this response – which is known as “self-esteem damage”, she has been trying to overcome it and listen to guidance from her support system, as she strives not to return into the harmful behaviour of her past. My past relationships were toxic to my partners during adolescence,” she admits. With professional help, she has been able to reduce her narcissistic traits, and she says she and her partner “operate with an understanding where I’ve instructed him, ‘When I speak manipulatively, if I say something manipulative, call it out {right then and there|immediately|in the moment’.”

She grew up primarily in the care of her father and notes she didn’t have healthy examples as a child. “I’ve been learning continuously the difference between acceptable versus unacceptable to say during a fight because it wasn’t modeled for me growing up,” she shares. There were no boundaries when my household were criticizing me when I was growing up.”

Root Causes of Narcissistic Traits

Personality disorders tend to be connected with difficulties as a child. Genetics play a role,” notes an expert in personality disorders. But, when someone develops narcissistic traits, it is often “connected with that individual’s particular early environment”. Those traits were “a coping mechanism in some ways to cope in formative years”, he states, when they may have been ignored, or only shown love that was dependent on meeting particular demands. They then “rely on those identical strategies as adults”.

In common with many of the those diagnosed, one individual thinks his parents “could also have the disorder. The 38-year-old says when he was a child, “the focus was always on them and their work and their social life. So it was like, stay out of our way.” When their focus was on him, it came in the form of “significant demands to achieve high marks and life achievements, he says, which made him feel that if he didn’t meet their standards, he wasn’t “acceptable.

In adulthood, none of his relationships lasted. I didn’t truly value about anyone really,” he admits. As a result, relationships weren’t relationships seriously.” He felt incapable of experiencing genuine affection, until he met his current partner of three years, who is facing similar challenges, so, like him, has difficulty with mood stability. She is “really understanding of the internal struggles in my head”, he explains – it was surprisingly, she who first suspected he might have NPD.

Accessing Support

Following an appointment to his doctor, John was referred to a therapist for an evaluation and was given the NPD label. He has been referred for talking therapy via government-funded care (a long period of therapy is the main intervention that has been proven effective NPD patients, experts say), but has been on the patient queue for a year and a half: “They said it is probably going to be maybe February or March next year.”

Disclosure was limited to a handful of people about his mental health status, because “negative perceptions are widespread that every person with NPD is harmful”, but, in his own mind, he has embraced the diagnosis. “It helps me to comprehend my actions, which is beneficial,” he says. Each individual have come to terms with NPD and are looking for support for it – leading them to be open to talk about it – which is possibly not the norm of all people with the diagnosis. But the existence of individuals sharing their stories and the expansion of digital groups indicate that {more narcissists|a growing number